Best approach for a one to one chat list

Say i have rosters, is it possible to query at least the timestamp of the last sent message of that roster?

Hw can i know at least when there's a new message per JID?

using mod_offline is not ideal since messages only get retrieve once and im using mobile.

and we cant rely on notifications, since there are failure scenarios.

mod_mam, I have to query everytime, every user/roster (imagine if you have 100 contacts)? that's expensive. I don't know whats the best approach for having a chat list

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