External modification of rosters

Hello,

I have multiuser app and want to use xmpp/ejabberd for user communication.
I have own management of relations between users and I want to hide management
of rosters from them and just "switch them on/off".

I found at forums that there is possibility to use mod_auth_extra's add_rosteritem and mod_rest
to call it, but they wrote about possible inconsincencies too. So I'd like to ask, if it
is good way or if there are other possibilities. I will have extra connection with some admin
user, so best way would be some IQ making it.

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