Confused by file transfers

Hi, I can't figure out how to get file transfers to work.

Settings in ejabberd.yml:

mod_proxy65:
hostname: "mydomain.com"
port: 10000

mydomain.com is also where ejabberd is located.

I have my server setup as dmz on the router and I wonder if this is a problem? Do I need to forward 10000 to my laptop where my client is running?

I'm using Psi-plus and when I try to send something and check netstat it seems that it's trying to send to the recipient's lan IP. We have both tried various stun servers but don't see any change.

I hope someone can explain to me where I'm going wrong. The Psi forums don't seem to have a link to register so that isn't helpful.

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